Road Diaries – Part2 (When to check your ego back in the van)

Day 5 – Friday Oct. 16, 2009
Redding, California through to Lassen Volcanic National Park.

I recall on this day we started out on the flats leaving Redding, California and headed into the mountains through the Lassen National Volcanic Forrest area. This was a tough day for Team1. We started out with a full team of 6 riders. After about the first hour or so we started our climb into the mountains. Relentless 6% – 8% grades, some even 12% all uphill with no end in sight. In fact, just when you thought you were nearing the top, another sign would say 8% grade up for the next 15 miles. Brutal!

At some point during the day we miss calculated our portions of water and ‘gatoraide’. Nearing the 60km mark it was evident that our team was running out of liquids to replenish our bodies. As we climbed, it got hotter and hotter during the midday. Water soon became a necessity and we as a team tried to distribute portions out to those of us that were left riding.

After about 70km into the uphill battle, folks started dropping off one by one. The toll of that day was reeking havoc on our weary bodies. By the end of the day there were just two of us left. Myself and Wallace. Wallace had jumped in about 15km into our start and was feeling very strong that day. That boy can climb hills!! I started dropping back as I was unable to keep his stronger pace.

In fact I became delirious at a certain point. Heat and no water does not go well with my system. Doubts appeared in my mind, “Can I finish?”, “Can I keep a pace?”, “Can I keep climbing?”, “When will we reach the top? Is it soon?”, “Am I going to callapse on this damn bike.”, “Will my body fail me?”, “Am I going to go into cardiac arrest at any moment.”?

The answer to all of that, was indeed yes. My body was starting to fail me. My mind was in rapid deterioration mode. Dehydration had taken affect down the mountain about 25km ago and I was 90km into my own personal battle with this mountain climb. Wallace was way ahead of me still turning those pedals and slipping away from sight up the mountain.

Now the support van is right behind me chewing their nails because I am trying to make my way up this mountain at a snails pace. I know what they are thinking. Comon dan…Hurry up…Wallace is way ahead of you. As much as I try my legs will simply physically not do what my mind is telling it to do. I’m hurting, getting slower, and instead of climbing with a straight wheel up the road, I’m all over the place just trying to stay balanced.

At the 90km mark, the van pulls ahead of me and crew gets out. “Dano – How are ya feeling? Do you want to jump in the van?”

“What?? No I don’t want to jump in the damn van? I want to finish this leg!” Are my thoughts.

“Dano – We won’t think less of you if you get in the van and finish here, it’s starting to get dark buddy.”

At this point I’m thinking they are asking me to abandon my own personal journey up this frigging mountain. I’m not liking what I’m hearing. Yes I’m tired, but I’m going to finish this dammit! How dare you ask me with 20km left to stop. I feel like I’m kinda personally being attacked because I’m not keeping up the pace with Wallace whom is now way ahead of me. I am competitive by nature and I don’t like to be the weakest link. At this point I was really starting to feel that I wasn’t upholding my stature and I was the weakest link at this point. It starts to bother me and I become very agitated with my team.

Then I heard the hard truth – “Dano – It’s like this…Get in the damn van. It’s getting dark out now…We have no night gear with us….your tired….Wallace is way up there and there is no one supporting him at this moment. You need to get in the van so that we can finish this leg.”

I thought about it for a moment. I didn’t like hearing it, but it was true. I was tired and Wallace was now alone further up the climb. He could be at serious risk. It is almost dark. I can barely see the road as it is right now as it was and I probably won’t be any good at night. So tired…So thirsty.

“Fine” I said….We put my bike in the back and I jumped into the front seat. I’m pretty sure I stewed for a few moments. I wanted that glory of completing that leg for myself, and now my partner is still charging up that hill. I despise the thought of quitting.

Wallace, with 20km left to go was the only rider left. We followed behind him closely and helped him out with our lights from the van. It was kinda spectacular to watch it unfold. Yet, I was still stewing that this could have been my little moment as well.

Wallace finished in true form and saved our team from having to do an extra 20km the next day. It was very cool and I was glad for him that he was able to do this for us…yet I still stewed….

We ate that night at a restaurant at the top of this mountain. Once we got some water and good food into us. I started bouncing back from the dehydration I suffered earlier.

It then dawned on me. Hey…Sure I was pissed that I got pulled off the bike when I thought I could finish. That I wanted maybe a little bit of glory by reaching the top when I was exhausted.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that, this ride is not all about ME. It’s a team thing. Looking back on it now, when the van pulled over and told me that’s enough. They could see my struggle. They also knew that they had another man all alone way ahead. It was time for me to get off that bike, so that we can support the furthest person in the leg. I was not helping anyone on my team by dragging it on with my own personal battle. If continued, I would have put us both in danger, because the van can only stick with the slowest person.

I learned something valuable that night. Less selfishness, more team work. In fact looking back on it now. It was absolutely the right call. I would like to say I would have done the same thing. From the vans eyes, you have split riders and it’s getting very dark on that mountain. Get the last guy off the road and support the person way ahead.

I think my team knew I was suffering pretty hard and dehydrated. Not only that, we all knew Wallace is the strongest rider in our group.
My team was trying to tell me in the nicest way possible that it was time for me to get off the bike, so that we can support the lead.
I now realize, how much I truly appreciate them for that call. And I also appreciate they way they told me. Even though I stewed a little bit and probably got a little cranky at them at first. I now understand it.

If there was one thing I could take away from this ride and pass along to other future GIVETOLIVER’s on the next adventure.
Your only as good as the rest of your team. There is no such thing as a one man show! You must listen to your peers when they all agree, and you might not. We operate as a team and for the good of the team. Todd always said, Safety first trumps friendship. That statement is so true! My team made the best decision at that time for the good of the team. Even if I didn’t realize that at the time. It was the best decision.

Whatever egos you think you might have on this adventure. Check it back in the van! There is no place for an EGO on a ride as great as this. I love the fact that my team kept their heads, and I think each one of us learned something about ourselves. I also know that I would go to battle for anyone of them.

I love my team! I miss them!
Thanks for your support and love.

Most importantly – thank you to everyone for working together as a team and putting up with the bullshit. You all rock!

BTW: Wallace if your reading this. I have to say…..That was a great F$$$ing climb your did my man! Way to go! Truly EPIC!! Nothing but respect from my end.

- Dano (Proudly from team#1)

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